What to do when you feel behind in life

So, hello everyone. I had quite the revelation today, or you can just call it going insane. I am currently studying in "college" (not really but I don't know the word for it in English) And I am looking for a job. IM LOOKING FOR A JOB FOR FOUR MONTS NOW. And I am going insane. So naturally this month in general I am feeling really behind in life.  So I kind of decided that if I don't find a good reason why I should stay in this stupidly expensive capital until the end of my studies, Ill try my best to find a remote job, move to my home town or one of the villages around it, and ill buy an old house. I will move to province, have a garden, have bunch of cats and I'll go to church on every weekend. And I'll do it out of spite that the housing prices are insane in the city I live in rn. So, to distract myself from that, I will also think of other things I need to achieve before that. So, Ill make a list of things that I need to do in a year. And maybe stuff to do to make myself feel better and get back on track and reconsider going to live in province, even though I want to.

What to do when you feel behind in life:

1. Get your goddamn drivers license. I don't have one. Why? Cuz I'm scared and kind of broke, but I got fed up with going everywhere by bus so the fear went away for some time and I have my birthday money now so I could pay for part of the courses.

2. Try to save money for the deposit for the loan. Even if I wont buy the house ill definitely be nice to have some money saved up. I honestly don't believe that I will save up enough but never say never. (fyi i would need to save about 4000eur and lowest monthly wage in my country is 500eur)

3.  Adopt a pet. I have a cat that I adopted. I want another one. U should get a pet too. They are toads adorbs.

4. If you current situation isn't working, whether its a job or a place you are living in, it wont really get better if you stay. Of course if you have no choice but to stay because you are financially unstable it is understandable. But if you have people that can help you, then you should consider changing those circumstances.

5. Maybe expand or decrease your friend circle ( you can achieve that by going to some sort of clases or a new job)

6. Clean your room and have guests over.

7. Have a health check, fix your teeth. I'm going to fix my teeth this week, I took my sweet time and now its gonna be way more expensive because I was thinking that I don't have money for it, guess what, you never will and if you wait it'll cost even mooooreee. (P.S. turns out my teeth problems are going to cost me 2000eur, I love the fact that I waited till now when it could've costed me only about 300eur before, I love myself for that)

8. Write down what you don't like about yourself and stuff from your childhood that caused you to dislike yourself, then uncover hidden traumas, realize why you currently feel the way you feel and do things the way you do them. Cry for half of a day and then be depressed for a week. 

9. After the depression cycle reorganize your priorities, ask yourself why do you consider them important, and come up with insane dreams that you would love to achieve, not to show off to others but to be happy and fulfilled. 

10. Take your social media accounts and if possible, hide the more "successful" acquaintances accounts so that you wouldn't get so pissed of when they get engaged, married, pregnant or travel abroad.

11. Don't get into a romantic relationship just to be in a relationship ( just because you are the only person in your family that isn't in one) Might not end well for both of you...

12. Get newww hobbiessss, or should you call it new obsessions? You will definitely forget your problems for a month... They will definitely come out later but who caares.

13. You know those hiking trails? Make a specific one for yourself in your neighborhood, and take yourself out every day to "hike"

14. Go to a hardware store. It has cute stuff in there, like screws, paint, buckets, wood... And buy yourself a chocolate bar. (I love home depo and other places like that, for me it is a place to dream in and it heals me)

15. Make a year plan, if you have stable income plan how much to save every month, then you can make a meal plan to save money, then you can make a fitness plan, then you can make a long term creative project plan, then you can make a gift plan for your families birthdays, and etc.

16. Try to break out of your routine. It doesn't matter how, but staying in the same environment or circumstance can drive you insane. Take a walk, go to a different store that you go to rarely, dress up differently, make a different meal, meet with a person that you like but don't keep in touch with.

17. Go to a lake, riverside or pond, find some birds, feed them with seeds and rice, but NOT bread, it makes them too thick. And enjoy their cute little feet and the way they walk.

For now that is it. Hopefully I gave you at least one idea of what to do when you are going insane. I'm writing this part a week after I started this post, and I'm emotionally stable right now, but I am still considering moving back to the province lol. I feel better even though my situation didn't get any better, it might have gotten even worse, but I am fine. I understand that somehow I'll deal with it, and it just requires time and effort. Having a breakdown won't really help, but keeping the negative feelings inside is really unhealthy, so don't be ashamed of feeling the way you feel, if you feel it out, it passes quicker for sure. So I wish you a good day. You can do it somehow😃😊